I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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