i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
