I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
