Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
