i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
