I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize