it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
