im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You smell like a Billy Joel song
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
