porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So much Jack, so little girl.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
