got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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