I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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