So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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