and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize