That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
