The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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