Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
