um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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