Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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