he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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