Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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