the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
