operation harelip BJ is a go
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize