I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
