there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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