only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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