I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
