Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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