i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
