I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
