Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
