Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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