Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
