Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My vagina just recognized that song.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
