I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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