is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize