i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
