yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
