i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
