Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
