I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
