Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
