just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
