they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
