Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
