So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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