It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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