Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
