is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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