what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im six kinds of drunk right now
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You were trust falling into bushes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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