dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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