First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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