I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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