the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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