I heard we made out
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Randomize
