ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
True strength comes from lack of pants
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize