she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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