You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
