Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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