nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
