I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
