im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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