my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize