Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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