Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
