you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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