Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's just like the Real World with babies
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
