yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
